


Buttercups

by HarmonyCalatheaaa



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst and Feels, Buttercup by Jack Stauber, Depression, F/M, How Do I Tag, I give up, Inspired by Music, I’m shit, Lots of Hurt, Love Confessions, M/M, Suicide, Ugh, bullshit, idk man, im dead inside and i dont care, really nice side character, some shit i wrote like a year ago
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-18 19:53:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28872624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HarmonyCalatheaaa/pseuds/HarmonyCalatheaaa
Summary: A courageous team of treasure hunters set out to find an artefact no one had ever succeeded in finding — but in the process one falls for another, and a deterioration in mental health ensues. (Romance-based)A.k.a a display of my shitty writing skills. Don’t expect anything good.





	1. Bottled Up Feelings

**Author's Note:**

> I’m shit at writing, thanks for choosing this fic!

Alohygnea felt both physically and mentally way better after Velucis saved him. He changed the whole course of his life, but why did he even do that? For what? He didn’t even know him that well. Is… Is this how friendship feels like? As a former “geek” and loner, just the thought of it could make Alo feel warm and fuzzy inside. 

He sighed in pure bliss, and gazed into a pair of beautiful grey eyes. Throughout so many years, he had finally earned himself a friend. Not as if his parents cared at all. 

He felt someone nudge him, and was shaken back into real life.

The person who nudged him was none other than Feyer, the silver haired half-mer archer. A true friend at heart, and dependable in hard times. Though he was mischievous, he could always bring fun into daily life, and Alohygnea would never be able to be such a prankster. Despite that, Feyer just… didn’t hold such an important place as Velucis. 

“I bet you’ve got a huuuuuge crush on Vel! You’re staring at him oh so dreamily…” he whispered in Alo’s ear. His grey beret immediately sprang up, and whisper-shouted, “That never happened!” “Ooooooh, you’re blushing!” he smirked, and directed his glance to his surroundings.

Periwinkle petals fell gracefully from the trees around them, and wind brought the sweet smell of flowers to their noses. Squirrels, wolpertingers and other furry critters could be seen scuttling around their picnic blanket, and they, like Alohygnea, seemed too to be in awe of the beautiful, short-lived scene blossoming around them. Mavea, a mortal with fae blood, was reading classic literature, while Vel, a fledgling witch doctor, was staring into the pale blue sky which was dotted with altocumulus clouds. Fey was attempting unsuccessfully to get Mav to talk to him, but gave up ultimately. It was quite clear that he had fallen head over heels for Mav, but she was quite oblivious and ignorant to his feelings.

They were currently on a mission to obtain the Silver Ewer of Galana, an artefact no one had ever succeeded in getting. A few of the challengers barely came back in one piece, while the others… Those who managed to recover their carcasses could only look in pity. Still, that didn’t stop many ambitious men from trying. Alo, Velucis, Mavea and Feyer, a.k.a. the Evolvers, were part of them. They had been travelling for about two weeks or so, and Alo was their newest addition. 

Alohygnea, a half-human-half-angel being, was under the control of some strange natural force for quite a while, and it caused him to act hostile on anyone who passed by. Yet, Velucis, Feyer and Mavea continued to confront Alo even after being viciously attacked by him, and Velucis even offered to rid Alo of the strange force possessing him. From that moment, they started to develop a strange blossoming friendship.

“Ugh… if only Fey would stop teasing me… we ARE really just friends. I mean, that’s how I interpret our relationship.” He grumbled inwardly. 

He gazed at Velucis, who was examining the map of the nearby territories. His light blue hair, his grey eyes that sparkled in the sun like the sea, his confidence that could persuade anyone… Vel was a perfect being, godlike. The sight of his smile could send electric pulses of pure joy sparking through Alo’s whole body, and having Vel with him was by far the only thing stopping him from breaking down during the mission.

Feyer’s words floated in Alo’s brain. “ _ I bet you’ve got a huuuuuge crush on Vel! You’re staring at him oh so dreamily…”  _ What if… what if his words were true? Oh gods… that made so much sense. He didn’t want to face it… 

He was in love with Vel.

Emotions flew all over the place as he panicked internally.  _ That makes sense of why I want to stick to him all the time… Am I too clingy? Gods, what if he rejects me? What will I even do without him?! Is this real…? Do I actually love him or is this just an illusion? No, no, I’m definitely in love with him. Oh gods, how should I tell him? When, how, where? I’m so scared and useless… _

Velucis cleared his throat, and announced, “Well, Evolvers, it’s about time we started moving. Many people out there are closer to the Ewer than us, and by far we still need at least 3 weeks of constant moving to reach Datanao, our final destination. As you can see here on the map,” he put it on the ground, “We are now in one of the smaller groves of Nirdi, and we need to pass through some mountains and rapid rivers on the way. Not to mention booby traps set by other challengers. If we spend our time idling here, we won’t be able to make it there.” 

Velucis, timid-looking yet with the heart of a griffin. His leadership was what impressed Alo the most, and he was more than willing to follow Vel to the ends of the Earth. 

Mavea’s pleasant deep voice spoke up. “Vel, aren’t we in need of food supplies? We’re running out of meat, and our plants haven’t been growing well this time. We’ve gone through a lot of climates that made them grow strange and weak, and if we don’t add to our supplies we might need to hunt for it.” 

“No worries, Mav. As far as I remember, there’s a shop north of this grove. If we progress for about 2 hours we can reach it.” Alo finally spoke. “I do travel a bit far for home sometimes, and I know this territory quite well. Could I lead the way in this area?”

“Yea, sure, no problem, if you’re confident about your abilities you’re always welcome to help.” Vel smiled.

*****

They made speedy progress, and soon enough they had reached the second last destination: Bineritl. 

Fields and fields of buttercups bloomed all the way to the horizon. Houses half the height of Alo sat on different corners of the sea of flowers, and you could see different coloured pointy hats poking out from the buttercups as they strolled around, watering the flowers and feeding the insects.

A gruff voice from below startled Feyer. “Hullo, travelling giants.” Under closer inspection, it proved to be a dwarf. “I don’t think our hotels can fit you in there, so feel free to sleep on the bare earth. Let me be your guide.”

He led the Evolvers around. “As you can see, we are very famous for the buttercups -- so much, that we the dwarves are always forgotten. Ah, but we play the utmost important role here. We take care of the small seeds of the flowers, and bury them for a new life. WE are the ones who ensure these beauties get full care. They start off very, very small. But then they grow, and soon they bloom. You see here, so many seem to all be living their best lives, do they not? Ah, but soon they wither, and new ones take their place, and they, too, die and are forgotten. Like most people. They seem to be in the prime of their lives. All of a sudden, oh! they drop down, and new ones come and take over. And this is how nature works. It takes away all your glory just when you want more and more.

“Ah, I scare you with my talk of death, do I not? Let us progress, and I shall let you see how we nurture our pretty flowers.”

Alo was deep in thought by then. What the dwarf said was the stark truth. The Evolvers were truly evolving and maturing. Feyer had rid himself of his diablerie, and Mavea had strengthened towards death. Velucis? He had become even more confident, and had long gotten rid of his former timidness. He was now a powerful butterfly, newly emerged from his cocoon. But for Alo… he didn’t see a single bit of change in himself. All his friends had matured, grown into true valiant warriors, while he was the person to slow them down, the one always in trouble, the weakling that still needed caring for. Perhaps… while they shone brightly under the sun, he would have withered away long ago. He probably never would get to bloom like the buttercups around him. 

Feyer’s voice suddenly popped into his mind. 

_ F: Hey, Alo. You hear me?  _

Feyer’s mouth was shut, yet Alo could hear his voice clearly.

_ A: Fey, if you can hear my thoughts, gimme a wink.  _

He winked.

_ A: So you knew all along about everything I feel for Vel? And that I really don’t want to hamper your progress? _

_ F: Yes… look, I’m going to be a nice guy, so I’m not going to tell any of this to Vel. I understand if you’re panicking, but please don’t let it take up the majority of your thoughts. The Silver Ewer is in our grasps, so don’t give up. Also, you might actually never have a chance to talk to him, so I personally think now’s the chance to talk to him about this. Of course, not right here, but like after the tour, so that you can talk to him alone. Mav’s too thickheaded and oblivious when it comes to feelings and human nature, so it’s best if you two find a secret spot for yourself.  _

_ A: Well… what should I do if he rejects me? I’m honestly scared down to the core.  _

_ F: That… I don’t want to interfere, so just try to keep calm and walk away. I’ll only stick a finger into your pie when things go terribly wrong, alright? _

Alo went through the whole trip absentmindedly. After listening to the dwarf, Nijntje, drone on and on, he was more than relieved to hear that they could explore the fields themselves. 

He trod into the wild, uncared-for part of the flower field, hoping that no one would find him. He was never cut out for this kind of adventure, and it was only his friendship -- no, love -- for Velucis that pulled him onto this suicide mission. He never really cared for rare artefacts, or thrilling adventures. Now, though, he felt so weak and tired inside, and his mental health was growing more and more unstable. He wanted to quit this madness, pull himself back from the brinks of insanity.  _ No, _ he thought to himself,  _ I have to go on. I’ve gone this far, I can’t drop out. What about Feyer? Mavea? And… and Vel? No, I can’t leave you, Vel. I love you too much to leave you. I’m too weak to go back to where we started by myself. Unless… unless I plucked up the courage to tell you how I felt… if only you could know how I truly feel!  _

Tears trickled down his face.

And just at this moment, Velucis approached him. 

*****

Velucis was worried for Alohygnea. He had been zoning out for the past few days, and it seemed as if his soul had left his body. To be honest, Alo was never the kind that should be on adventures like this, but to pay Vel back for saving him, he decided to tail along. He distinctly remembered that night where they lay under the stars, and Alo said,

_ “I’m sorry for always dragging you behind, when your progress could be much quicker. I really wonder why you didn’t ditch this sinner at the start, but chose to keep me. I… am thankful for your saving me, but why? I don’t deserve anyone’s sympathy! I’ve killed people. And besides, I’m weak. I keep getting hurt here or there, and I just waste your time when you could be progressing. I’m useless to you guys! I’m just a burden for you to carry. _

_ “Please, leave me behind now, before the journey truly starts.” _

At that moment, both Vel and Alo’s eyes welled up in tears, and he was sure Fey and Mav were concerned too. Vel desperately blinked the tears away, and tried to keep his voice steady as he said, “No, Alo. We cherish you as a team member, and we would never ever see you as a burden. You’re one of us, and no one wants to leave you alone. Please don’t say things like that! Alo…”

At first, Vel thought that Alo was a brave soul deep inside, but in reality he was scared and broken inside, and Vel firmly believed that it was his responsibility to take care of him. Lest… lest he regretted leaving him alone to suffer. 

Now, Alo was sitting here, isolating himself from them all.  _ Why? Why can't you just have some faith in yourself? Why are you so scared of us? We care, Alo… _

*****

“Why?” Alo faintly heard Vel’s voice, tinged with faint melancholy. “Why can't you just have some faith in yourself? Why are you so scared of us? We care, Alo…” 

“Vel! Oh, Vel… please don’t sneak up on me!” Alo looked back at Vel and mumbled. Vel looked at Alohygnea, clearly startled. 

“Was I thinking out loud? … Well, at least you know I really see you as a true buddy, alright?”

Alo’s heart died a little. Yes, that’s right; he would always be his friend, not his lover. There could never be a chance.  _ If I could only tell you how I felt… I’m a coward! _

Vel sat down next to him. 

_ Oh gods… this is too close, too close… keep yourself under control, Alo! Oh no… _

“Vel, I love you! I don’t want to just be a friend!” Alo gasped, and covered his mouth. 

*****

_ Alo… that’s why you’re so scared… really… I’m getting confused. Wh… how? Why? You’ve gone too far, Alo. I don’t want to be like that. Please, gods, let him be able to take this blow…  _

Velucis tried to piece the words together and sugarcoat it, and they both sat in utter silence as the sun shone and the breeze blew. 

Alo shivered and sobbed into his knees. “Gods… I’m a failure...why did I have to do this?” His words were barely audible through his sobs. 

"Alo, I don’t want to imply that I hate you or anything, but I don’t really want to go that far. I’m glad we could be friends, and… I wouldn’t want you to be anything other than a good pal, alright? Maybe give me some time to think this over, okay? This isn’t the final decision… ”

“No, Vel. I know you don’t want me. I just… let’s just forget about what just happened alright?” He got up, brushed away the stray petals, and walked away, the faint outline of his wings flapping and shimmering under the sun. 


	2. A  Fight Barely Won

At last; they had reached Datanao, their last and final challenge. Tension was in the air. Would they be able to get back alive? Would they lose their friends? Everything that was about to happen was unknown, and they were plain scared of the results. Still, they couldn’t very well run away at this crucial moment, could they? 

They entered a strange dark cave, full of peculiarly shaped icicles and alarming echoes. Feyer sensed a particular aura of stubbornness, and smelt a dormant rage building up in it. He raised his guards, and he felt his merman scales resurfacing on his skin. 

“A dead end… there's nowhere to go.” he muttered under his breath.

“Perhaps not, Feyer Canav… or should I say, Hishanir Belvalo?” A woman’s voice rang through the cavern.

Feyer panicked.  _ Not now. Not here. Now they know who I am… the fiend who robbed countless innocent people of their homes… _ He could hear Alo gasp, and didn’t even have to look at Vel to know he was staring at him in betrayal and confusion. As for Mavea… he couldn’t bear to think of the love of his life shunning him and leaving him behind.  _ Is this how Alo feels all the time? To be in constant fear that they would leave him behind? Oh, no, no, no, no -- _

His thoughts were interrupted by a sudden remark from Alo:

“Mother?” 

Panic and fear tinged Alo’s voice as he uttered that single word, and Fey couldn’t make out whether the beads on his face were tears or sweat.

The rock around them started to tremble, and a gigantic stone angel with ice blue marble eyes swivelled around to stare at them. Her eyes seem to hint at them: 

_ “Come at me -- but only if you dare. Few have passed, all heavy wounded. I don’t see why you can be an exception to this rule. This is your final chance to run -- now, or never.” _

Feyer reached out to his teammates' hearts. If he couldn’t reassure himself, at least his friends would be fine. Even though he was bound to the Evolvers in a contract, he slowly grew to like and care for them. 

_ Guys… I don’t know if you still trust me, but… please stay strong and do our best. Please… _

He felt three different people’s responses and emotions, but could barely make it out which was which.

The first pulse that went through him was one of suppressed fear and temporary reassurance. With it came a short message, filled to the brim with anxiety:  _ “Hopefully we can make it!” _

The next one to come was more tranquil and unperturbed than he expected.  _ “Don’t worry Fey, we can get this. With our talents, we’re sure to come back in one piece. Though in my point of view, figuratively and literally, the whole scene is rather grim. I wouldn’t be surprised if one of us got hurt… Don’t lose hope, Fey! I still believe in you.” _

The last one was only emotions. Fey could feel his mind overflow with clashing feelings and subconscious thoughts and he nearly shrieked in pain. Confusion, pain, anxiety and despair were the main components of the jumbled up emotions, along with what he could make out as fear, betrayal, depression, and… anger? It was kind of like… all sorts of paint and other materials thrown onto a canvas, creating chaos.

From what he got from his teammates, they were probably going to fail.

But was he going to lose hope? As a half mer who enjoyed living in the moment, he could say a brief “no”. Though he couldn’t really say he enjoyed the moment…

*****

His own very mother… just the thought of him made him queasy. That’s why his mother told him “not to interfere with dangerous treasure hunts”... she didn’t want her child to be one of her victims…  _ Oh, mother… forgive me! I fell in love… madly… mother, oh, mother! Please… don’t…! _

Before he could react, he was flung through the air by a force blast. 

“Alohygnea. What did I tell you about going about treasure hunting with foolish people? Hm?” Her words, as stern and icy as her gaze, anchored themselves deep into Alo’s heart and struck waves of fear and despair. “No son of mine disobeys my words!” 

He was mercilessly flung onto the rocks around him, and soon enough, he couldn’t feel his legs anymore. His back hurt as if it was burnt by fire, and he knew something was deeply wrong. He gasped for breath, and felt his life slowly drain away. 

_ Help _

_ Help  _

_ Someone _

_ Please  _

_ I’m dying _

_ Help _

He sat helplessly, watching the person who cared for him throughout his entire life turn to torture the remaining three Evolvers.  _ Please,  _ he thought, _ don't let them die… don’t hurt them… this is my burden… don’t let them suffer… for… me… _

He took one last breath, smiled weakly, and closed his eyes.

*****

Mavea felt true fear strike into her heart for the first time as Alohygnea was flung around as if he was a mere ragdoll. 

_ Mav. Calm down.  _

Her kind father’s voice suddenly floated into her mind. Its presence calmed her down, and she took a deep breath.

_ My girl, I have all the faith in the world that you can defeat her. With such determination, the heavens will surely forgive you for challenging her. Here, I’ll show you the way. _

A shimmering stardust route pointed all the way to a crack in the stone angel. 

_ How did I not see that… thanks, dad! I won’t let you down this time! For real…  _ She suddenly saw flashes of her father sinking, drowning down below, while she was on the ship, restrained by other people… she shook her head.  _ That’s in the past now. Look forward. Take that first step, and launch… _

The stardust route shimmered brighter, and she ran as if her life depended on it.

All of a sudden, she felt lightweight, as if she was a swallow. Everything around her slowed down, and her vision was enhanced, letting her focus solely on her goal. With every leap she took, with every swerve she made, her heart swole with energy. 

She was getting there… almost… but that gap in front was too wide!

_ Think, Mav, think… your mother was a faerie… you can fly, Mav, you can fly! Go, go, GO! _

Her confidence boosted, she quickened her pace… and leapt across.

In that fraction of a second, she felt as if she was walking through the sky, with thousands of wings there to support her across. The sensations! Over the echoes swirling around the cavern, she could hear her mother’s distant cry of joy, and she knew her kin, her family of magical roots, were there with her.

She whipped out her dagger, and stabbed it deep into the crack of the statue.

*****

“Mav!” Fey cried, but before he could open his mouth, she had bolted straight to the statue and stabbed her in a crack. 

The damage done to her was quite big, and Fey knew what to do -- make her shatter to pieces. Even though he didn’t want to hurt Alo or his family, it was the only way to proceed. 

At the speed of light, he whipped out his bow and arrows, and started shooting. The eyes… the eyes were probably weaker, he thought. He aimed, and shot two arrows into the statue’s eyes, doing a lot of damage. Mavea and Feyer kept attacking her, and Mav was oblivious to the fact that Vel wasn’t participating in the fight. Well then, where was he? 

Fey shot a glance at Alo, and saw Vel desperately trying to heal Alo. Ah well, Fey and Mav had to do the dirty work, while Vel got to do light work and Alo was practically prancing around in heaven. He groaned, and continued to shoot. Parts of the statue were clattering to the ground, and she was in too much pain to deal any more damage. 

“Well?” Feyer leapt up to the statue. “You want to hand out the Silver Ewer? I’ve got a nation of mer to save with that jar, and I don’t plan to leave empty-handed.”

The statue hesitated, and showed him to a hole below her. Inside was the Ewer, the genuine article. As he retrieved the jar, the statue’s remains crumbled into the hole, and the angel’s spirit rose from the stones and ash. 

“I was sent to guard the Ewer, and I was not to give it to anyone but the man who would save Aslanica from demise. I don’t want to admit it, but you are the one I have been waiting for, Hishanir Belvalo, and I now hand this treasure to you. I expect you to keep it with utmost care, and I command you to use it for good only. Alohygnea is not my son anymore, and I do not want anything to do with that boy. He deserves to die alone, with no one to care for.”

The words enraged Fey. “How dare you?! He’s my friend, and I refuse to turn my back on him as he dies.”

“Courageous and loyal, I see. Certainly not like the average mer, are you? 

Without saying another word, she ascended into heaven, leaving a raging Feyer stare up at her. 

*****

Vel was panicking. The Evolvers had gotten a swift win, but how about Alo? The nervous, pretty, fragile creature that reached its hands out… but was slapped and insulted instead…  _ Is this it? Is this the end for Alo? Gods, he didn’t deserve such a sad end! Let him live… let him live… let him live!  _ Vel desperately wiped away the blood trickling from Alo’s lips, and sought out his last medicine to heal him. 

At this moment, Alohygnea lay unconscious in Velucis’s arms, and the chances of him surviving was slim, if not zero. His spine was fractured, and it seemed as though his legs couldn’t move. 

_ No… don’t let this ruin him… he’s gone through so much pain already, he doesn’t deserve this! _

“Vel? Vel, it’s time to go. There might be danger around here. It’s best for Alo to get professional care in the Facilities, so don’t waste your time here trying to save him.” said Mavea, with a sad smile on her face. 

Reluctantly, Vel hoisted Alo’s limp body onto his shoulders, and began the trip back home to Hinatakashi. 


	3. A Meeting Across Years

_ To my dearest Velucis,  _

__ _ How have the years treated you? I hope you’re doing well, and I sure do hope that you still remember me! Those three years in a coma has made my mind quite foggy, but you’re the clearest thing in my memories.  _

__ _ I’m doing fairly well in the Facility here. The doctors have confirmed that I won’t be able to use my legs anymore, but that’s fine. After all, I plan to focus on my mind more than my body -- I’ve grown quite tired of adventures, one is really more than enough! At the moment I’m studying classic literature like  _ A Night of Song _ by Keira Winoa, and it’s quite fascinating, but I’m quite certain that you’re far too busy at your work to care about my droning, aren’t you?  _

__ _ I’ve heard that Fey and Mav are married. Didn’t you think it quite a shock to hear that he was the culprit behind all those snatch-and-flash robberies? Well, I suppose that he’s changed a lot, so it’s best not to talk behind his back. About their marriage, though, I do remember them mentioning that they’ve got a little boy and girl, and Mav’s expecting triplets! How very wild their household must be.  _

__ _ I’ve also heard that my mother disowned me. Though whether that is real, I’m not too sure, because I have problems recalling details… Either way, I guess I’m on my own now, since mother’s in heaven. _

__ _ Ah, but I’m nagging again. The real reason I wrote you this letter is because I’d like to meet you at the Grove of Petals in Nirdi. You know, the one where we rested for a while? I hope you can give me a specific date and time, because I’m always free. I’d love to hear from you, Vel!  _

__ _ Do write back soon. I’m looking forward to receiving your letter!  _

_ With much love, _

_ Alohygnea _

*****

Vel rushed to the Grove, to find Alo sitting peacefully in his wheelchair. He was humming some sort of tune, staring at the petals slowly falling down. 

“Hey.”

Alo turned to look at him. On his face was a smile laced with melancholy, and he beckoned him over. 

“Hello, Vel. How has life treated you? I’m glad you could spare some time to see me. Do fill me in, won’t you?”

Where should he start? Tell him that he got a wife not long after the adventure? Or that he was growing tired of his doctor career? Since they parted ways, nothing seemed to be working out for Vel, and nothing could really cheer him up now that he had to work 24/7. The only moments that could bring some joy to Vel were those of successfully healing patients, or when he could go home once in a while to see his wife. His precious, lovely Carlinea… 

“Vel? You okay there? Maybe… tell me about your work? How is it going?”

“Well… I’m getting famous. But I’m constantly labelled as the former Evolver leader, and I don’t really want to be in this state. With fame comes rumour, and you don’t really get to be as carefree because your actions are always monitored by reporters. Luckily no one really knows me around these parts, so it’s fine to talk as I please. Mostly I need to work 24/7, occasionally taking breaks for about 2 days per month. Life is kinda tough, and the only times I can be relieved is when I heal a patient that used to be in a lot of pain.” 

Vel poured out memories of his working career to Alo. Alo was a gifted listener who could give encouraging nods, and Vel truly felt at ease here, sitting on the ground and talking to Alohygnea, who wouldn’t bother him like all his colleagues. It was quite rare to have such calm and relaxing times like this… 

“... you know, Alo, it’s just such a relief when you finally get back home to your wife-”

“You have a wife?”

*****

Alo sat there, his smile frozen onto his face. Vel really had gone and forgotten that confession in the buttercup field… He could feel his body go numb and his blood stop. 

“... yes, Alo. I met her not long after I graduated from university as a fully-fledged doctor. She was a student that needed tuition, but the professor had no spare time in his hands to teach her, so I took on the job. Naturally I fell in love with her, and now we’re married. She’s quite a dear, and it’s really happy to come home to see her warm smile.” 

Alo’s heart slowly shattered.  _ I don’t mean anything to him now. I’m just a vent for him to talk about his “horrible” life, while I just sit here and suffer. Does he have any idea of how it feels like to lose your only love to someone else? Vel, I meant it when I said I love you. Why, then, why? Why would you leave me for someone else? Do you share the sweet memories we had? Do I not matter anymore? I trusted you… at least, don’t break my heart twice! Oh, Vel… I’m drawn to you like a moth to fire. _

“Carlinea’s probably - Alo, are you okay? Look, look, I’m - I’m terribly sorry. Oh gosh, why am I like this? Alo, I’m so sorry I let you down, I really am! Alo… I really don’t want to say this to your face, but - ”

“Don’t worry, Vel, I knew all along you never really wanted me, I’m sorry for zoning out. Go on, I’d love to hear all the fascinating little things and happenings in your life. Don’t mind me. You must have had a very good reason for falling in love with… Carlinea, wasn’t she? You shouldn’t let me interrupt your love life. Go on, go on. No, no, really, I’m fine, Vel. You need someone to talk to, and I need someone to listen to. So do go on talking, and let’s leave the past behind today, alright?”

“... Alright. Well, I don’t want to really say this to your face, but you just can’t give me that kind of homey warmth that Carly can give me. It’s not your problem at all, don’t misunderstand me, please, but I just feel happy with her. I feel happy with you too, but it’s just… I don’t feel it’s such a strong bond. You, of course, feel differently, but I just can’t feel that kind of… passion, you know?”

They sat in silence, as specks of white and purple dotted the ground.

_ Do I want to see Vel again, after he left me for someone else? I want to, but I… I just love him too much! Fine… I probably can control myself… hopefully. I’ll try to keep our relationship steady with letters. Writing to each other can reduce a lot of tension. Yeah, that’ll work. I can love him all I want when we’re so far apart, both physically and mentally. Hm, that would be the best solution. I could scream and shout and cry or do whatever I want to do when I’m at home, but not when I’m with him. Though I suppose meeting up once in a while would be ideal… But for now, I’ll just talk to him with pen and paper. Quite romantic after all. Hm, yes, that will do.  _

The sun slowly set as the two men, both in love madly, stared absently at the sky.

Soon, they took their leave, and would never see each other for a long time - perhaps never again.


	4. A Withered Buttercup

How many years has it been since that day in Nirdi, where he saw Velucis last? Three? Five? Alo had slowly lost count of time; the only activities was to read, do his daily necessities, sleep, occasionally write. He didn’t want to care about life, he only wanted to escape to fantastic worlds where life was jovial and without pains - at least, not the ones he was facing now. 

He had depression in the first few months of reviving from his coma. He didn’t know why it was here, but soon he got rid of it by reading. By delving into the pages and words, the previous pain could suddenly disappear, and books slowly became a medicine for his sadness. 

Now, Alo was lying on his bed, with a classic murder novel spread on his chest. He had grown increasingly tired of this artificial life of immersing himself in false worlds, and he wanted to go out. To where? Honestly, he didn’t know. 

He sighed, crawled onto his wheelchair, and wrote a letter to Velucis. Although he seldom replied to his letters, it was always good to write about daily life to him. His feelings needed to be vented out, and by writing letters he could also keep in touch with the man he loved so very much. Strangely, that desire for Vel had never disappeared in those five years of misery and boredom. Yet, could you say that that desire was what empowered him to live? Not even in the slightest; in fact, quite the contrary. 

He lifted up his quill, and started writing. The content wasn’t really fascinating, just scraps of daily life patched into a letter. The main point of the letter was really just to ask him out. 

To where? Alo didn’t know. He sat there, thinking of a suitable place for their meeting.  _ A suitable place to die… To have my heart broken again… Well, my name means moth in Esparian, so I guess I can blindly stumble into your embrace, like a moth into fire. _

_ One last time… one last time, I will tell you, in the sea of buttercups, how much I adore you…  _

_ Shall it be Bineritl? Yes, yes it will be. _

_ Velucis, my darling, do come. _

_ Or I’ll wait there, and let my hunger for you starve me to death…  _

*****

“Vel? Vel, it’s the monthly Alo letter!” 

Velucis groaned as he sat up. “If you want me to forget your confession, then stop being clingy and quit this letter madness!” he mumbled. 

Work was extra hard on him now that there was a strange plague going around town. The first thing in the morning was to wear his protection suit, and bolt out the door to go to the Facility. He got grumpy easily, and clearly didn’t want to bother with anyone or their damned letters. 

_ Fine, I’ll just read it later! Ugh, can I not be bothered by people for one day? One single day?!  _

He rushed to work reluctantly, hiding his annoyance with his professional calmness.

*****

Alo counted the days down to the meeting day, and to say that he was bouncing with excitement and anxiety would be a great understatement. He only hoped that Vel had actually read his letters, and really planned to meet up with him. The truth was, Vel never even bothered to open the envelope to read his letters

Now that the day had come, Alo attempted to swiftly hop into his wheelchair, and rolled his way out of his home, which was surprisingly clean despite its neglect. He decided to rent a one-way horse, just in case… 

He eagerly got himself onto the horse, named affectionately Bucky, and galloped all the way to Bineritl. By the time he got there, the sun was just starting to set. No sign of Vel… 

He sat on the buttercup field, watching Bucky gallop into the distance back home.

_ Even a horse can live happier than me… at least it doesn’t have so much to care about, it gets taken care of, and doesn’t have to worry about his daily life. _

“You have come again? My friend of seven years ago.” A familiar gruff voice said next to him. “What brings you here once more, giant friend? The scenics? Or the memories of long, long ago?” 

*****

Nijntje recognised a familiar face sticking out from the buttercups, and walked to him. It was none other than the grey-haired childlike adult of 7 years ago. 

“Ah, hello, er… I, uh, forgot your name. N… Nein-che?”

“Nijntje. The pronunciation is similar. I am glad you remember my presence.”

“Well, thank you for remembering me too, Nijntje. It’s so nice to know someone has put you in a special place in their heart.”

“Hm. By the looks of you, you are evidently troubled by something, are you not? Ah, nothing goes past old Nijntje’s eyes without being seen. Tell me now, what is it that has troubled you for these seven years, my boy?”

Alo took in a deep breath, and told him the story of his lost love and his past laced with melancholy and sorrow. 

“It all started with Velucis saving me that day… I was hypnotised by some strange gas that made me become hostile, and he took away my illness. Then we set off, and I fell in love with him. Velucis, however… didn’t feel the same for me. In fact, it was here that I confessed my love to him! Just after the tour through the buttercup fields. All along, our friendship was very tense… whenever we tried to speak to each other it just ended up making us both sad. I… I really want to talk to him, and I want him to love me too! But no, he has a wife now… I want to confess to him, and tell him once more… I asked him to come, but I don’t even know whether he read my letter or not. I don’t know where he lives, so I can’t barge into his house and pull him out even if I wanted to. I’m so… lost and hopeless and crazy right now! I want him to - no, I need him to be here with me! I - oh…”

“I see your dilemma now, friend. I will give you one piece of advice, what you choose to do with it is your choice. I may sound repetitive, but hear this: We all start off very, very small, worthless. But then we grow, we mature, and soon we all reach the prime of our lives. We seem to be in the very best moment, but then voila, a new young flower comes and takes your place, you wither away, forgotten. This, and I cannot emphasize enough, is how nature works. It takes away all your glory just when you want more and more. Yet, my good friend, you are but a young growing plant, and who knows what you’ll become when you bloom? You might shine brighter than the constellations, you may be the one to push the world forward! Don’t throw yourself away, for someone who does not know to cherish you. You hear me? You may need him now, but when he realises he needs you too, show him that you’re good enough on your own. Leave him to be lonely and upset. Give him the pain and regret, then pull him back to you.

“Now, my friend, tell me what you want to do now. After hearing my advice, you should know…”

He thought for a while, then answered,

“I plan to kill myself here. If he doesn’t come, no one will be able to help me get up. I won’t be able to leave this place to go home and eat supper, or drink water, and I will die of dehydration or starvation, or both. Because I’m going to show him that I had hope and faith in him. And I’m going to show him that he let me down. This will be his last and final chance… but if I die, my soul will be with him. To protect him. Because I’m sure I’ll never be able to forget the man who saved me once upon another time, the man whom I love till this day and forever more.”

The grey-haired man with a child's simple heart, painful and hopeless. There was so much love in him, yet no one was there to receive his love. And no one was there to love him or care for him, apart from Nijntje the dwarf, who cared for all who set foot in Binetrl.

Nijntje sighed softly, and said his goodbyes. “If you need me, if you have any regrets, tap on the earth 3 times and I will come. But for now… goodbye, my good friend, and may your journey to death be a good one…” 

A flower, withering away before it could bloom… a tragedy that he had no right to interfere with. Why did he have to throw himself away, here under the whispery baby blue sky? Here, where the flowers shone with song and where life stirred under every patch of soil and ground? Here, where the air smelled of bitter sweet sunshine? Why? For once in his long, marathon-like life, he felt a twang of sadness in his heart. 

He looked back at the grey-haired man, whose back had grown a transparent pair of feathery airy angel-wings which drooped down, outlined by the shining sun. A single tear rolled down his cheek as he stared up into the sky, with a faint smile masking his broken soul. His eyes were strangely void of feeling, a sign that he had lapsed into deep thought. A fellow dwarf called him over, and he took one last concerned glance at the angelic man before running off to do his work.

*****

_ “You may need him now, but when he realises he needs you too, show him that you’re good enough on your own. Leave him to be lonely and upset. Give him the pain and regret, then pull him back to you.”  _ But would Alo be strong enough to kick him aside? The pain of being left behind was strong enough, he didn’t know whether he could take the torture of putting him aside while living, knowing he too was in pain.  _ I can only hope that Vel comes… I’d love to make a new start, but I just can’t go on without you! Nijntje was right, I should go and give myself a chance, but I can’t live without him! Nijntje… he’s probably the nicest person I’ve ever met in my entire life. My mother…  _ Tears threatened to well out of his eyes.  _ And… and Vel…! Oh, Vel, I adore you with all my soul…  _

The lyrics to a familiar song floated into his mind. 

_ “Fine, electrify mine,  _

_ Electrify my golden tooth _

_ Can’t look at those eyes _

_ Without sparking some…” _

_ Yes… Vel, you never cease to electrify my heart… those grey eyes… such life and energy in it, that I just can’t help falling in love… shoot sparks of love… I can’t… my darling love… _

_ “Surprise, I’m in the same time _

_ Beneath the same sun _

_ Oh man, you cut me to size (Ow!) _

_ My little buttercup (That hurt)” _

_ So ironic… Velucis, my buttercup, you drive me mad, and here I am, in a buttercup field… it makes sense that I think of you so much, here in a giant field of buttercups… where I poured out my heart and soul to you, where my heart was stolen and never returned… where I spilt out all my desires for you… I hate myself just as much as you hate me, just as much as you want me to burn in hell! Here I am, waiting for you to come save me from my misery… I need you, I need you! _

The song, about a man madly in love with someone else, who disrespected him time after time… Alo felt so broken and dead inside. As night fell, his weariness lulled him into sleep, and the buttercups illuminated his chin as he sunk his head into the soft bed of nature. 

That night, he dreamt of buttercups, of dwarves, of angels, of love… 

That would be the last time he closed his eyes.

*****

Vel got back home late at night. For some reason, he felt bad for cursing at Alo on that morning, and it nagged at his heart for the past few days. He opened them, one by one, and in his mind materialized a picture of a desperate man slowly spiralling into depression and insanity. The handwriting became less and less steady, tear stains dotted the last few letters, and some were even ripped apart and stuck back with tape. Alo was in deep pain and stress, and yet… the nagging feeling grew stronger.  _ It was so terribly wrong of me to ignore him like that… _ He stared at the last letter. 

_ …  _

_ Oh, and, Vel, you don’t mind coming to Binetrl to see me, do you? I’d like to say some last final words to you. Come on next Sunday afternoon! Do write back to me.  _

Today… today was… 

“Carly, dear, what day is it?”

Carlinea, puzzled, answered, “Why, Sunday! Don’t you remember me telling....”

Velucis was agitated, to say the least. He packed his bags in a flurry, panicked a bit, and rushed out the door without saying goodbye, leaving Carly in a state of bewilderment as he leapt on his horse Steedy and galloped away.

“Really, his work has made him so very tired and panicky…”

*****

Velucis’s heart rammed as fast and hard as Steedy’s hooves as they sped in and out of forests and groves.

_ Alo, Alo, please don’t do anything rash before I come! Alo, Alo, Alo!  _

His name echoed through his mind as he prayed for him to keep safe. 

_ Alo… Alo! I take everything I said back! Oh Alo, I was blind, so foolish! I loved you all along, and yet I let you down, oh gods… Is this how fate wants us to be? Just how horrible and merciless can life be? _

_ Alo…  _

His mind was spinning at a quick pace, and his thoughts were jumbled up. He felt dizzy, and his hands threatened to slip off the reins. 

“Go, Steedy, GO!”

*****

Nijntje heaved a sigh as he put down his watering can in his house. How was the angel boy? He hobbled out the door and headed to the wild buttercup fields, where they last parted. 

A sigh escaped from his mouth as he looked in pity at the porcelain doll that lay in the midst of the flowers. Lifeless, young, at peace… Just then, the sound of hooves, or rather the vibration of them, sent Nijntje running to the edges.

The one riding the horse was none other than Velucis, the man both he and the angel boy had been waiting for. 

*****

It was past midnight, almost sunrise when Velucis got to the field. He saw a little pointy hat running towards him. “Mr. Velucis? Oh, sir, it’s too late!”

Velucis’s heart skipped a beat. “What do you mean, too late? Ni- Nijntje? Where’s Alo?! Where’s Alohygnea?”

The dwarf merely beckoned him over, and the two rushed though the pretty but poisonous fields of flowers. 

_ Buttercups… suitable for a killer queen… _

At last, Nijntje stopped.

No sign of him…

_ Wait-  _

_ It couldn’t be-  _

Alo’s carcass lay on the soil and earth, cold as stone. 

Velucis felt the world spin. “Why…”

He caressed Alo’s face, now pale as a sheet. It was cold to the touch… he couldn’t be saved. Death occurred while in a state of unconsciousness, and was caused by poison in the flowers. His temporary rationality was no more than a piece of paper to the bullets that were emotions.

He knelt, and held Alo’s arm with his trembling hand.  _ No… this is just a dream… this can’t be real! It can’t end this way, this can’t be happening, this is all a dream and nothing more, I’ll wake up, and he’ll be there by my side, and we’ll be together, safe and sound… I’m sorry… I should have come earlier…  _

“Allow me to say some words?”

Nijntje, always appearing at the right moments. He was a pillar of confrontation and reliance, always there to give care and warmth to all who needed it. 

“Go on.”

“Your angel friend, he told me of his desires. He loved you all along, and I am sure you know that as well as I do. He concerns himself about you, he wants to, in his words, ‘barge into your house and pull you out”. He adored you. And by that glint in your eyes I know you do too. Alas it is too late, he has pulled the curtains to his drama show already, and there shall be no more epilogue or encore. Hope all you can, and regret that you lost this gem, blinded by the shimmer of another sparkly yet cheap jewel, not worth your time. Though he desired for you, he wanted to hear the sweet song of death, he wanted this madness to end. He wanted you to know that it was too late, to not come earlier was a grave mistake. Don’t get him wrong; he pledged that when he died his soul would be there to protect you. Now, no matter where you go, he will be there as your guardian angel.”

“But does he know that this will weigh on my heart forever and ever? His death, I mean? I love him…”

“And he did so in the fear that you would never love him.”

“Oh, silly Alo… we were both blind…”

He stared up into the sky as he sobbed, and a star twinkled at him. A smile broke out on his face as he choked out the words:

“I love you too, Alo.”


	5. Epilogue

“We have come together to celebrate the life of Alohygnea Falanir who died in the fields of Binetrl on 25th April aged only 26. 

One of the important things a funeral does is remember. So that Alohygnea lives on in our memories at least. So let’s remember…”

Feyer looked at the ground.  _ Alohygnea gave his soul to Velucis! It’s all his fault… Alo didn’t deserve to die! He was a kind angel, better than us all. It’s all your fault…  _

A tear rolled down his cheek.

Mavea was invited up on stage to recite a poem, one that Alo loved to listen to in his childhood days.

“O, dainty litl’ flower,

How do you do?

With petals of sunshine

And stems and leaves of life.

Will you blossom like a queen,

A beacon of the earth?

Or will you wither away,

Lost and forgotten to humanity?

O, dainty litl’ flower, 

I hope you fare well,

For now the day is ending, 

And the world is turning dark.”

Then it was Nijntje’s turn.

“Hello, all of you. The time I have spent with him was relatively short, but the pain I feel is equally much. I was the last to see him before his death, and I recall the faint smile on his face, masking his broken, twisted soul. His eyes, so hopeful and yet so hopeless. Out of his short 26 years of life, 8 were spent in agony, torture, desperation, with only books to keep him companion. When a man turns to dead objects for companions, he must be truly in a horrible state. His love was too strong, unhealthily strong, and it was his love that drove him to suicide. Gods bless his poor soul, he never could be happy! He was, as I said, hopeful yet hopeless, and he eventually succumbed to the sweet melody of death…

That is all I have to say. Thank you all.”

As the funeral came to an end, Feyer tackled Velucis. He wasn’t the kind that could easily keep down his burning rage, and the fact that Alo was one of his best friends made the situation worse. 

“How could you just… just let him down? I had hopes for you two! He adored you! He NEEDED YOU IN HIS LIFE! Velucis, your callousness will lead to your death!”

Mavea had to hold him back from punching Velucis into a pulp. 

“Feyer, I can explain. When I knew I loved him it was too late! I thought I didn’t, and I was blind as a bat, alright? I didn’t want him to die either! Feyer… I let you guys down… I’m so sorry. You too, Mav. I made you lose a friend, and I put him through so much torture…” Vel tried to keep his emotions down, but ended up sobbing on a tree stump as Feyer apologised and Mavea consoled him, all the while choking out barely audible sorries. 

As a now deceased Alohygnea sat on a cloud eavesdropping, he sighed and shook his head. “Vel… I’m glad just knowing you love me too.” Dropping down to kiss him on the cheek (without Vel knowing), he whispered, “I love you not only for what you are, but what I am when I am with you. You changed my world, now it’s time for me to protect yours.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmfao you actually read the whole thing? Thanks for giving this a try, and yes i know it’s short and nonsensical but if you really want to see more then im gonna write more, i mean i cant turn yall nice peeps down  
> Uhh  
> Thanks? Again? For reading this bullshit.   
> And, uh, if you like JJBA and Josuyasu then maybe go check out my other fic. It’s more action-based and uhh, not much better than this but hEyYyY
> 
> Ok this is it this is the end, bye


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